I've been feeling worse lately and after just over a week of worsening symptoms and new headaches, I finally contacted my doctor. Half of me hoped she wouldn't be concerned and that I was "irrationally" worried and the other half of me hoped she would all of a sudden have some miracle solution. There wasn't even a small part of me that hoped that I would get the response that I did. My doctor is concerned about two things, neither which would be good. First we check for C-diff and if I don't have C-diff then we do a scope and check for worsening Crohns. It would basically suck if my Crohns is worse, this means that I would need to switch medicines, and truth be told, there aren't any more medicines to try. So bottom line is: there isn't anywhere good for me to go from here. My doctor suggested going NPO, latin for nothing by mouth, in order to rest my bowel. This would be...just awful. I would have to give up my obsession with food and only get my nutrition through my picc line.
So as I worry about my test on Friday and pack-up to go to Indy tonight for my Picc dressing change tomorrow, I contemplate where my next road will take me and how I will get there. I don't know what's going to happen next, but I do know that everyday is a little different in my not so normal life.