Having Crohn's Disease has caused me to miss out on a lot of things. Most people don't realize how much I have had to give up just to survive college with Crohns, but there is so much that goes into each decision that I often decide not to do things. Like tonight, I was all set to go to an event, but it ended up being a lot later than I thought, and because it's later I don't think I can go.
So how do I handle the disappointment of having planned to go something and having to choose not to? Well first off, having lived with Crohn's Disease for so many years I've learned to deal with things rationally. I call it my hyper-rational mode:
I realize that I "could" go, but if I went it would make ME feel worse, and I'd have to go to the bathroom a lot and I wouldn't get the sleep I need which would make me feel even worse. Bottom line is that going would make me feel worse, so I am choosing not to attend so I don't feel worse.
Even though I realize that not going is a choice, it still makes me feel lousy to not be able to go to things. So I then think about the good things I can get out of not going. Like tonight, if I don't go, I can go to bed early and get homework done, which will make me less stressed tomorrow which will make me feel better.
I realize that not going still sucks and that I am missing out, but on the flip side I am making that choice because it is good for my health, and I need to do what I can to help my body. There isn't a lot that I can control in my life when it comes to my health, so I have to make the mature and often difficult decision to not attend certain things much of the time. I know that when my body finally stops hating me, I will be able to do all the things I've missed out on, and I'll enjoy them a lot more then than now!
Tonight, I am choosing to do what is best for my health, so I can conquer this disease that is part of my not so normal life.
I've got 8 scars and am missing two feet of intestines and my life isn't normal, but whose life is normal? I want to use my experiences to help you, even if it means sharing embarrassing experiences. I am also looking to break the stigmas associated with IBD in order to make living with IBD just a little bit easier. Hope you enjoy!
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