By sharing this, I want you to understand what is really truly going on in my life and the lives of others with IBD. I want you to read about what goes on in my life so you can better understand. So please make an effort to understand what I am trying to tell you and together we can break the stigmas associated with IBD, because according to these stigmas, I shouldn't share my day with you.
I wake up every morning and barely can get out of bed because even though I'm exhausted, I don't sleep well and the sleep I get isn't rejuvenating. First stop is the bathroom where I sit on the toilet for around 10 minutes while my bowels empty the liquid stool stored there overnight. But they only empty if I'm lucky. Because sometimes I wake up and food has become stuck, so every time I move I am in pain. I take a clear ensure and a water to my first class, hoping that the nutrition will be absorbed and not pass through my intestines too quickly. My my second class I have to go to the bathroom again, but if I start going to the bathroom then I'll have to go again and again, so I hold it. The longer I hold it the more pain I am in, and my butt begins to hurt and my abdomen begins to cramp, but I prefer cramps to judgmental looks I receive from others from my frequent trips to the bathroom. After my second class I race back to my room so I can go to the bathroom and spend another 10 minutes on the toilet. Its only the second time I've gone for the day, but my butt is already raw, "can the day just be over already?" The homehealth nurse comes to draw blood during my lunch and I sip on water and have another ensure, "don't want to rock the boat before my last class." After she leaves I rush to the bathroom again to empty my bowels, but on the way out of the room I grab my butt wipes I keep in my purse, "hopefully they will stop the burning." During my last class my stomach lurches and I rush out of the class room, I pull a nausea pill from my purse as I pass stoole yet another time, "this is really getting old."
Back in class I pray I don't have to go again before class is over, and I barely make it out of class before I have to go again, my butt is completely raw and very painful at this point. I curl up on my bed and grab my computer. I have decide what medicine to try next: tacrolimus or TPN, so I begin searching on google. I snack on yogurt and sip on water and soon have to rush to the bathroom again. I can hear my intestines moving things alone and although my butt hurts immensely, I am just glad things are moving, because if they don't move through, I have to stop eating till they do. Dinner rolls around and I order a cheese quesadilla, I am not sure the chicken will be digested enough to pass through, so I stick with a couple bites of cheese, but I feel my stomach moving so I wonder how much time I'll have before I have to go the bathroom again. As I walk into my room, I have to go again, I've lost count at this point, but I know it's going to hurt.
I'm about to go to a meeting where I can't really leave to go to the bathroom and after that will be doing homework the rest of the night. How many more times will I have to experience the excruciating pain of having to go the bathroom? How bad will my nausea get if I try to eat again? Will my acid reflux bring acid into my mouth as I try to sleep? Or will I not be able to sleep because of the prednisone? When will I be able to do a bag of fluids? What is causing my critically low potassium? These are all questions that plague me as I sit here trying to communicate with my readers. But these aren't abnormal questions, they are questions I am pondering moment by moment day by day but I have chosen to share with you so you can further understand my life and the lives of many others. I have shared this informationin my not so normal life.